Yeah. So going back to work and making 18 medical appointments per week, plus trying to watch 32 hours of football, and plowing through the National Film Registry, she is starting to wear on Dirtbunny, and Dirtbunny is paying for it in zee blog. So today you get some stuff from Matchdays 4 and 5 so we’ll be sort of caught up with football before the Zebes set foot on the pitch at the Vicente Calderón.
JUVENTUS 3:0 CESENA
Cesena is a newly-promoted team that we kind of like because it’s an underdog, because it gave Vincenzo Iaquinta a couple months of work, it gave us Emanuele Giaccherini, its nickname is the seahorses (aw), and it is currently training one of Juve’s baby keepers, Nicola Leali. Now that’s all well and good, but we still should beat them handily, especially at home, and we did.
Cesena started out very busily with three handballs in the box in the first 17 minutes. You could possible excuse the first one. The second one was a blatant intentional handball and a penalty no-call. The third one may or not have been worthy of a penalty, but Mr. Giacomelli awarded one, and Arturo Vidal converted, as he almost always does.
After that, there was a whole lotta fail. Seriously. 29 shots, 13 on target. Of course, the flip side of that is 10 saves for Leali, which had to have impressed the suits. After all, Gigi Buffon is 36 and Marco Storari is 37. Juventus has a bad habit in Champions League of not really bringing it against the weaker teams and dropping points, which last season prevented them from getting out of group stage. Roma is looking good this season, so Juve can’t be messing around when it plays the minnows. Cesena pretty much had no attack, but it only takes a moment of glory or one heinous defensive mistake to change everything. The game was not getting put away and Juventini were nervous.
But Arturo is recovered from his injury, match fit, and ready to remind everyone why he is one of a kind, so he scored a second goal in the 64th. This made Giorgio Chiellini and the rest of us very happy. So, whew. OK then. But it wasn’t over.
Stephan Lichtsteiner has been really cranky so far this season. He hates it when things are wrong. (Me too.) He’s been defending his ass off and charging up the right side like a demon all season, serving up cross after cross, and only a few of them have sucked. He yells at teammates when they can’t run a play as a team. He even screamed at one of the babies when he took a selfish shot and failed–badly–when Lichtsteiner was undefended in the box and would have had an easy tap-in. He’s complaining to the refs all the time like always, and when he has an opportunity to hear a ref explain why the call was made, he makes a lovely and ostentatious eyeroll for the cameras and for Dirtbunny. I hated him at Lazio. Now he’s one of my special boys. Football is weird.
He doesn’t score a lot of goals, a few a season maybe, but he scored the first ever when Juventus Stadium opened, and he scored one late against Cesena. We got a glimpse of the whole person of Stephan Lichtsteiner in the expression on his face while he waited to see if his shot would go in, and we got to see a rare goal celebration. Would it be more happy YAY! or fierce RAWR?
It started out like a big RAWR-y prance and then it got a little dance-y and I got confused and scared. But then:
Leonardo Bonucci did some complaining. You’ve seen this before, but I can’t get enough of it.
ATALANTA 0:3 JUVENTUS
The Zebes traveled all the way to beautiful Bergamo, which is just a shade farther away from Turin than my parent’s house is from me, for the big weekend match against Atalanta. Lichtsteiner had no intention a slowing down, and he gave us a little more camera-worthy action.
The fangirlz and I has frequently joked about the shockingly high proportion of terribly good-looking players in Italian football relative to other leagues. It’s almost as if you have to be pretty to join up, even though we know that’s not true.
Carlos Tévez isn’t pretty. No siree. Even though he realized that the long artificially-straightened hair he was sporting while at Manchester United was just plain wrong and he changed it to something that works for him, he’s still not pretty. That’s OK. Plus, Manchester United can do awful things to your head.
Most of his goals aren’t either. But they count and he can turn into a goal that which no one else can. Like Quags plus 2. Quags did it from the side or in the air or upside down or with a triple-Lindy, but Carlitos just keeps going past people, tripping over legs, falling down, getting back up, magically keeping possession of the ball, and sending it in when he’s the last man standing. He got a brace on Saturday. We all have high hopes for this man now that he’s shown us he can go a whole season without quitting football forever and leaving on a big jet airplane for Argentina.
There’s more good news. Baby Zebe Álvaro Morata broke his duck, so now all that’s over with and we can all relax and work on team stuff.
It was a convincing victory, so everyone should be happy right? Well, we are, but Leo knows what I know This is the last year. They’re all going to leave and it’ll be all over. Just him and Claudio and Giorgio and the babies. Carpe diem, my dear. Carpe diem.
He’s become quite the grown-up since he first arrived. Finally learned how to tie a tie. *iz proud*
Next match is ion about an hour, match day 2 of the group stage of the champions league against Spanish Champions Atlético Madrid in Madrid. I had the impression that they sold all their best players during the summer transfer window, but they’ve beaten Real Madrid and they’re only two points back from the top of the league. Three points from this match would be a massive confidence-booster for Juve. Which would be very very good because
The next league match is Sunday at home against A.S. Roma. Juve and A.S. Roma are tied for points at the top of the table with 5 wins each, but Juve is ahead on goal differential, so it sits first. Lose to Roma, start a shame spiral, Conte’s not there to kick asses, it’s all over. At least that’s one possibility.
This post powered by grim anticipation and plans for a new bianconeri scarf.